First messages that get replies, and how to keep a conversation going

You have matched with someone who seems interesting. Now what? The first message is where many promising connections quietly die, not because either person was wrong for the other, but because the conversation never got going. A little thought at this stage makes a big difference.

Why "hi" does not work

A message that just says "hi", "hello" or "how are you?" puts all the effort on the other person. They have to come up with something to say, with nothing to go on. Many people simply do not reply. It is not rude of them; it is just hard to respond to.

A good first message gives the other person something easy and enjoyable to answer.

Start with something specific

The best openers are about something the other person actually wrote or chose. On Myra, every introduction comes with reasons, such as a shared language or a similar answer to a prompt, and when you match, chat opens with suggested openers drawn from both of your profiles. Use them as a starting point, or write your own in the same spirit.

Compare these:

• "Hi, how's it going?"
• "You wrote that you are still searching for the best biryani in Hyderabad. I have a strong opinion and I am ready to defend it."

The second is specific, light and impossible to answer with one word.

Ask questions people like answering

Open questions invite stories, and stories are where conversations come alive. A few that tend to work:

• "What is something you have changed your mind about recently?"
• "What would your perfect Sunday in the city look like?"
• "You mentioned you are learning the guitar. What made you start?"
• "Which place in your neighbourhood would you take a visitor to first?"

Avoid interview-style questions in a row, such as what you do, where you live and how many siblings you have. They feel like a form.

Share as well as ask

A conversation needs both people to give something. If you ask a question, answer it yourself too, or add a small detail about your own life. That makes the exchange feel balanced and gives the other person something to ask about in return.

Match the energy

Pay attention to how the other person writes. If they send long, thoughtful messages, they will probably appreciate the same. If they reply briefly, keep yours short and light. Do not send several messages in a row when they have not replied; give them room.

Keep it respectful

A few things reliably end conversations:

• Comments about someone's body or appearance, however complimentary you mean them to be.
• Questions about caste, salary or family wealth early on.
• Pushing for a phone number, social media or a video call before the other person offers.
• Anger or sulking when someone does not reply quickly.

Our community guidelines explain the standard of behaviour we expect from everyone on Myra.

When to suggest meeting

Long chats can be enjoyable, but they can also build an idea of someone that does not survive the first meeting. If a conversation has been going well for a few days, suggest a short, specific plan: "Would you like to get a coffee near Indiranagar metro on Saturday afternoon?" is much easier to say yes to than "we should meet sometime".

Our city guides suggest date spots neighbourhood by neighbourhood, and the first-date safety guide covers how to meet safely.

How to end a conversation kindly

Not every conversation will lead anywhere, and that is fine. If you are no longer interested, it is kinder to say so than to disappear. Myra lets you close a chat with a short, respectful message in one tap, so you do not have to find the words yourself. If someone ends a conversation with you, take it gracefully. It is not a judgement on your worth.

If anyone makes you uncomfortable, you can block and report them from the chat at any time.

Your profile is half the conversation

The easier your profile is to reply to, the better the messages you will receive. Specific prompt answers give people something to start with. Our guide to writing prompt answers that start real conversations shows how.